When hearing criticism on a project you worked very hard on, making a hurtful comment to your teammate masks the disappointment you feel in hearing non-positive feedback on something in which you felt particularly invested. Here are some examples of ways that the anger iceberg can be helpful: When frustrated at work We can also learn more about ourselves as emotional creatures, including how we currently cope, and how we can work towards healthier styles in the future.īecause anger is such a blinding emotion, using the Anger Iceberg can be very effective any time we need to remember that our reactions aren't one-dimensional. In paying attention to the other emotions involved in an anger reaction, we can better understand why we’re so mad and find ways to dissipate this anger in a productive, meaningful way. It gives attention to the underlying feelings bubbling beneath the obvious manifestations in behavior. The anger iceberg helps us figure out what else is going on. Yet we don’t see what’s beneath the surface: The other emotions in the mix, like frustration, hopelessness, disappointment, pain, jealousy, loneliness, or fear. We see and hear yelling, stomping feet, and raised voices. The Anger Iceberg is a concept created by the Gottman Institute that describes anger like an iceberg: Above the sea, we can see the visible 'tip' of the anger. Then something happens – it could be something you see, an action someone else takes, or a thought that pops into your mind – and suddenly, you’re so angry that you want to scream. You notice something, a feeling, a little sensation in the back of your mind. You’re going through your day, life as usual, feeling just fine. It happens just like it did to the infamous Titanic.

Using the 'Anger Iceberg' to Identify Your Underlying Emotions

Anger iceberg pdf